Sara Sheehan discusses the power of effective conversations and the positive impact careful conversations can have. She presents ideas such as applying appreciative inquiry and positive psychology to our daily interactions. The goal is to create better relationships through useful conversation.
‘Conversational Intelligence’ is a book by Judith E Glaser that introduces the idea of just that: conversational intelligence. Sara unpacks Judith Glaser’s ideas and lays out exactly how conversational intelligence works and why it’s of such benefit to organizational culture. There are roadmaps that can be created for conversations to ensure their success.
In this episode, Sara Sheehan breaks down exactly why intelligent conversations matter, how effective conversations build higher levels of trust within organizations, and why positive connections with others ultimately leads to business success. There is a strategy to conversation that will de-escalate conflict and heighten engagement and connection within organizations.
Resources discussed in this episode:
- “The Power and Impact of Effective Conversations in the Workplace” by Sara Sheehan, Financial Digest
- “Conversations Worth Having” by Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres
- “Conversational Intelligence” by Judith E Glaser
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Contact Sara Sheehan | Sara Sheehan Consulting:
Transcript
Sara Sheehan: [00:00:02] Hi there. I’m Sara Sheehan and welcome to Transformational Thinkers with Sara Sheehan. Today, I’d like to talk with you a little bit about the power and impact of effective conversations. This discussion is based on an article of the same name that was published recently in Finance Digest. If the conversation is of interest to you, by all means, check out the show notes and there will be a link to the Finance Digest article and you can read it at your leisure.
Sara Sheehan: [00:00:43] In terms of today, there is so much to talk about. When focusing on the power and impact of effective conversations in the workplace, our conversations provide a powerful indicator of where our hearts and minds are. How we interact with our colleagues will either enforce a healthy team dynamic or create division and conflict. When seeking to drive change in organizational culture, consider applying appreciative inquiry, positive psychology, and really caring for others in the conversation to yield dynamic and dramatic improvement in employee engagement, performance and productivity. So you might be thinking, why do we need to change our conversations? In the book ‘Conversations Worth Having’ by Stavros and Torres, it provides an outstanding framework for changing how we approach others, create better relationships and improving organizational culture. When you’re going into an important conversation, adopt an attitude of curiosity by asking open-ended, appreciative inquiry questions. Come from a place of possibilities rather than negative problems. When you do this, you’re taking a positive approach in all that you say, ask or frame in the conversation.
Sara Sheehan: [00:02:44] Seeking to understand or innovate creative ways to improve any aspect of the business, these things create opportunities. Any time you use appreciative inquiry in a conversation, you’ll enhance the relationship, productivity and performance of the other participants in the conversation. It provides a powerful return on investment of our time and approach. Let’s take an example that will provide a real world application of conversations worth having. Here’s a scenario that may help bring conversations worth having to light. Imagine your company has been acquired. Many long term employees are transitioning to the acquiring company. Your company offers a competitive advantage in their products and services, but they need to improve processes and reduce costs in working with acquired and long tenured employees. Use the principles of appreciative inquiry when engaging them on what made their company great. What set them apart from their competitors and what created a positive customer experience? Conversations worth having seeks to understand what made the organization great, what characteristics of great customer experiences are and how the organization created community internally and externally. Creating a positive slant in your conversation that really cares about the other person can generate ideas and really build a bridge between two individuals and organizations. This conversation is going to be more productive and build trust, which is critical. What are quality conversations? The quality of our conversations determines how other people perceive us and want to engage with us.
Sara Sheehan: [00:05:20] Conversational intelligence is based on the book with that name by the late Judith E Glaser. I was lucky enough to be part of her certification for coaches and conversational intelligence, which was taught directly by her prior to her passing. It was a tremendous and enlightening experience to learn from her life of research, consulting and coaching. She was an amazing trailblazer in this space. She had great success driving cultural change based on shining a light on how they work together and the tone, emotion and construct of their conversations. In her research and practical applications, she was able to distill frameworks that help us understand what we need to do to have the best conversation possible in every situation. You might be thinking, what is conversational intelligence? Conversational intelligence is the hardwired and learnable ability to connect, navigate and grow with others. We need this type of intelligence to build healthier, more resilient organizations and communities in the face of change or disruption. With conversational intelligence, we are able to understand how conversations shape our relationships, our partnerships, our culture and our reality. It introduces a roadmap for creating higher levels of trust, activating higher levels of employee engagement, strengthening partnerships, and catalyzing co-creation and innovation in relationships, teams, organizations and cultures. As we connect with others in a positive way, it strengthens our ability to express our inner thoughts and feelings as well as opens the door for co-creation to create with someone else a new solution.
Sara Sheehan: [00:07:51] Conversational intelligence creates the foundation for trust, high quality relationships and business success. Reaching your highest potential with powerful conversations really requires you to take a step back and apply a few strategies. I have five strategies that I’m going to walk you through today. First of all, ask positive questions that will help you connect with the other person and build trust. Frame your questions in a way that you’re supporting the other person’s experience and expertise. When you’re in a conversation, if you see an opportunity to go deeper, double click on the topic by asking a few more specific questions. See if you can uncover an opportunity to co-create a solution with the other person. If you’re going into a difficult conversation, make sure you think about the topics you want to cover. Set expectations for the roadmap of that conversation and ask the other person to take a role in the conversation so that it’s truly two way. Use words that will frame where you are on that road map so that everyone knows what steps we’ve completed, what steps are ahead and where we are. Use positive language as much as possible to keep the other party engaged and listening. If you’re in an emotionally charged conversation, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking to pause the conversation and set new terms or boundaries for the next time you meet. It’s okay to ask. Hey, since this meeting is getting a little bit tense, I’d like to ask that we pause and regroup in a week. And oh, by the way, when we come into that meeting, I would love for you to bring your thoughts and ideas to the conversation.
Sara Sheehan: [00:10:22] Having the other person focus on ideas and solutions rather than problems can be a huge help in building a bridge. Finally, using formal rules of engagement for team meetings and your one on ones can help keep conversations on track and productive. The rules of engagement need to be known and understood by all team members, and they don’t have to be complicated. They can be as simple as: don’t interrupt others when they’re speaking, use open-ended questions when seeking more information, or setting a framework for a standing agenda for every meeting. Rules of engagement can help create trust as well in a group because they know what to expect when they’re coming into the meeting. They can come into the meeting prepared and able to contribute, and it really helps build the bridge that extends outside of the workplace with relationships that are better and relationships that have less conflict. I would love to hear your thoughts after listening to today’s discussion. If you reflect on this conversation and you have interest to learn more, check out the article in Finance Digest. And by all means, if you’re interested in exploring how we can work together, feel free to reach out for me for a meeting.
